Friday, August 22, 2008

Oh, gross.

There are few foods to which I have a strong aversion. I can certainly name plenty of foods that I could take or leave, really only a few that I hate: American cheese and plain mayonnaise.

Don't get me wrong about the mayonnaise. I realize I included it in my blog about essential condiments, and believe me, I DO see its value as an ingredient in other dishes or sauces, but frankly, I think it is disgusting on its own. Those Best Foods commercials that show thick sandwiches dripping with mayonnaise make me want to throw up. I am embarrassed to admit this, but when out at a restaurant on a particularly bad day recently, I actually cried a little when the veggie burger I ordered arrived with a huge blob of mayonnaise on it. There was no way I could just "scrape it off"--it was tainted.

My other aversion is American cheese. You know what it is, right? It's cheese that has been so processed that it melts instantly because it can't be broken down any more. Why oh why with so many interesting, tasty artisan cheeses out there would you EVER even consider eating something that tastes like and is about as good for you as the plastic wrapper it comes in? That's just silly. Plus, it tastes like oily rubber--not that I've ever eaten oily rubber.

Aversions are funny though. A common one is cilantro. Nobody ever seems to feel just mediocre about cilantro--they either love it or hate it. I personally would chew cilantro-flavored gum if it existed, but my dad thinks it tastes like tin foil. Eggplant is another big one. Its texture is so specific--spongy--and certain preparations can leave it, according to my dear friend Tom, "slimy." Mmm. A slimy sponge. Runny yolks make my mother want to vomit, and my brother balks at Brussels sprouts. And then there's Andrew and ketchup. Andrew hates ketchup to the point of actually being fearful of it. He is one of the sanest, most rational people i know---but you couldn't pay him enough to eat anything with ketchup on it. I've seen him get up from his seat and move across the room when ketchup hits the table.

A few times in my life, however, I have been privy to an aversion reversal. My last boyfriend was a devoted vegetarian for ten years until last May when, at an auction for the school where I was teaching at the time, he was accidentally served grilled chicken. I was confused when the waiter laughed at me as I was explaining to him that we'd actually ordered two vegetarian meals until I looked over and saw that my boyfriend was actually eating the chicken in front of him. "What the hell are you doing?" I asked, unable to believe my eyes. "I don't know," he replied calmly. "It was just my moment, I guess." And so, just like that, he started eating meat.

I highly doubt that I will one day have an aversion reversal for either mayonnaise or American cheese, but that's OK with me.

So what do you find completely disgusting? Post it and I'll try to keep it out of my next dinner party.



Unknown said...

Hey gorgeous!
a) I love your blog!
b) I think mushrooms are the spawn of the devil.
Love, Alyssa

Rebecca Kee said...

a) anchovies
b) real meat (i.e. hot dogs are ok)
c) green vegetables
d) red vegetables

Unknown said...

Gabi--I hate plain mayo too! I learned that in first grade the day my nana slathered it on a ham sandwich (which I promptly spit out). I can get with it when it's flavored, or part of a dip, but plain--no way. I think my only other serious aversion would have to be celery. Benign to so many, blech to me. Hugs!

Tara said...

I hate peppers. Green, red, yellow, doesn't matter I hate them all--spicy, sweet, bell; they all make me want to puke. Always have, always will. Love reading your blog!!