I work from home, so when the call started, I was in my kitchen. The cell phone reception in my house is less than wonderful, so, not wanting to miss anything, I headed to my front porch to take the call. I opened my front door and stepped outside, where I encountered two teenage boys, one of whom was mid-puff on what looked like a pretty densely-packed joint. The other looked up at me, smiled and said hello.
"Hang on just a moment," I said to the person on the phone. "OK, you guys need to find somewhere else to go."
"Why? We come here every day. This is our porch."
"No, actually it's not. It's my porch and you have to leave because I said so."
My jaw dropped. I would never, ever have said that to an adult when I was a teenager (or, um, ever). Suddenly all my years of teaching and working with kids fell away, and I realized just what was really going on there: two hoodlums were mouthing off to a mean lady--and she was too nervous (and pissed off) to do anything about it. They laughed at me and my obvious lack of a plan. Teeth clenched, I turned around and slammed the door shut.
Not wanting to miss any more phone time, I grudgingly shut the door, locked it and headed to the backyard, where service is not quite as good as the front of the house, but still better than the kitchen. Fifteen minutes after finishing my call, I went out to the front porch where evidently they had finished smoking and headed back to third period, or whatever.
I sat on my front steps, wondering what I should have done. Should I have told the person on the phone that I'd call him back shortly and then handled it? But, if I did that, what should I have said when they refused to leave? I have nothing against pot (though I don't think they should have skipped class to smoke it), and I realize I have no idea about the home/school situations of these kids, but I still don't think I should have to host their mid-morning cannabis party. The whole thing made me feel like an overprivileged narc, and also like a total wuss. And also really old.
So, my guess it that they'll be back soon and my question to you, wonderful readers, is, what should I do next time? Threaten to call their school (it's right across the street)? The police? Just leave them to it? Ask for a hit? Blast opera? Please help.