Saturday, October 9, 2010


I have had the worst writer's block lately. I can write recipes like there's no tomorrow, but as soon as I move out of the food realm, my mind goes blank. Night after night, I sit at my computer, fingers poised over my keyboard and...nothing. My chest tightens and my hands clench. I try everything: I change the music, I drink a glass of wine. I go for a run, I cook dinner. I reorganize my closet, I call my best friend and still--my mind stays as blank as my laptop screen. I'll start to type and instantly hate the words on the screen. I hold down the delete key with fervor. It totally sucks.

Clearly, something is stuck and I suspect it's rooted in something deeper than my writing. The more I fight with my creative constipation, the bigger it gets and the more defeated I feel. So here's what I am going to do: I am going to stop resisting it. I will give in to the heavy feeling in my chest and the knot in my stomach and try to feel the feelings that accompany an inability to create and, maybe, whatever it is that's lurking underneath. Taking it lying down seems the only logical approach, since wrestling with it has proved useless.

Because maybe, if I can authentically and truly give over to whatever it is that is keeping me from producing, it will do its thing, push me around, throw some proverbial dishes at the wall or whatever and then, when it finally realizes it will be getting no response from me, it will get bored and leave me to go bother some other unfortunate writer. Basically, if I stop feeding it, maybe it will die.


brooke said...

you know better than anyone about the connection between some good feeding and some good energy. if you don't feed it, it will said it sista'

Christine said...

"Creative constipation" is the funniest thing I've heard all day. That alone should make you think twice about forcing anything! Furthermore, when I struggle, I try something new- the unfamiliar is inspiring. Good luck.

Cerulean Bill said...

I hope that you can get your mojo back. I like reading what you write.