It has come to my attention that I date like I play baseball.
You might not know it by looking at me, but I love watching baseball. I love the peaks and valleys of excitement throughout the game. I get addicted to that bottom-of-the-ninth-bases-loaded intensity. I, like so many other fans, have moments when I briefly believe that my whoops of encouragement have the power to affect the outcome of the game.
Playing baseball, however, is a little bit different.
When I have the opportunity to play baseball, the sun seems perpetually in my eyes. I hesitate on every catch, living in my head instead of the moment. When I step up to bat, I'm wracked with too much fear of striking out (or worse: getting hurt) to focus on actually connecting the bat with the ball. I become too anxious and preoccupied with nervousness about screwing up to be a spirited, engaged teammate.
But, I'm working on my game. "Spring training," if you will. I'm dating now, more than I ever have before. And there are many dates after which, while walking home, I think to myself that I should probably have been benched for that one. Or hell, cut from the team.
But then, on occasion, I'll manage to make a halfway decent catch, and I'll get a glimpse of how the game is meant to be played--how I am meant to play it. Even if I'm a little bit scared. Even though the past few seasons were truly terrible.
There is heart is baseball--I know this to be true. And so, with this mindset, I am setting out to find the heart in dating.
Land of the free, home of the brave. Play ball.