If another person gently suggests that I try J-Date, I swear, I'm going to punch them in the face.
(OK, go ahead and laugh at the thought of me punching someone is the face.)
It's not even the idea of JDate that bothers me. I think JDate (along with all dating websites, for that matter) is a smart platform. I have several friends who have met their significant others (even spouses) on such sites. In this hectic world where we barely have time to hang out with people we already know, let alone meet new ones to date, it makes sense to create an easy-to-navigate website where users can quickly narrow down the specifics of what they are looking for and then connect with those who are seeking something complementary. Good idea, right?
Except it doesn't really jive very well with the Gabi Moskowitz Dating School of Thought, which states that participants should remain painfully ambiguous about their relationship until Gabi either sabotages it by becoming overly anxious and blurting out something inane, or both parties lose interest and abandon it all together. I mean, what would I do if I met someone whom I knew was interested in being in a relationship from the very beginning because I had read it on his online dating profile? How would I keep things neutral to avoid risking embarrassment or minor heartbreak if I knew from the get-go that what we were doing fell into the dating category and not "miscellaneous"? I can barely admit to myself that I would like to be in a relationship--now I'm supposed to pay $40/month to admit it to the internet?
I acknowledge that my objection might be a little over-the-top. Well-meaning friends and relatives suggest I try online dating in the same spirit that they suggest I purchase renter's insurance--loving and unintentional in its overbearingness. But I think that what terrifies me the most is not the idea of ending up on a date with a man who will interview me about the extent to which I intend to keep a kosher kitchen, but rather the potential of having to honestly and openly admit that I, Gabi Moskowitz, am single and ready to mingle.
Nope. Not yet.