Sunday, July 18, 2010

a man's energy

So, a couple of months ago, despite my previous protestations against online dating, I decided to give OkCupid a try. I had heard from multiple trustworthy friends that the site is a down-to-earth, fun way to make connections and--perhaps most importantly--it's free to use.

It was...okay. I met a few cool people, a few not-so-cool people. Ultimately, I decided that online dating is not for me and I took my profile down.

I received several emails through the site during my 2-month OkCupid experiment, but one stood out above and away from the rest and, perhaps, every other email I've received since 1992 when my parents decided that the Moskowitz family should hop on the information superhighway and sign up for AOL.

Upon receiving it, the hopeful dater in me wondered aloud why the hell I am such a weirdo magnet...but the blogger in me knew that I had been given an incredible gift. This email was meant to be shared with the world.

Here it is. I've removed his name (it was the least I could do), but that's the only change I made. Enjoy.

I'm sorry for interrupting your busy day, but, I hope you and your family are well and happy. How's it going? Thank you for posting here. This is a little awkward for me to try to open up online, but I find you interesting and challenging. I am a fun, loving, passionate, intelligent, and resourceful man. My time is fairly open because I am the boss of my businesses.

I think that we are looking for the same thing; love in a happy and fulfilling relationship. I'm looking to grow a quality long-term relationship to celebrate life; I am open to the possibility that could be with you - unless you would rather miss out and live your life without a man's energy.

I read your profile and I think you are awesome like a multifaceted diamond and that's very cool! I'd like to know more about what you mentioned. For example, I noticed that you are a food writer in San Francisco that wakes up excited about your chosen profession every day and it's nice that you are involved in some pretty interesting projects and manage a website about food, wine and cooking. It's been a long time since I've had some home made ice cream, but, I love it!

I find it fascinating that you are really good at many different fun things like eating and drinking out with friends or throwing a dinner party at home and taking bubble baths are important to you and I like how you represent yourself. I enjoyed reading that you seem pretty sure of yourself. I appreciate the perspective you hold in the world. What would happen if everyone did the things you did? I think the world would be a much more amazing place. How does that make you feel to do all of that?

Anyway, I am offering to give you what you're looking for from a man - masculine energy, a good listener, romance, a happy life, friends and worldly skills. Take you out and hear bands play. Let's just take our time to get to know each other and earn each others trust, become comfortable sharing some laughs, go on romantic walks, star gaze and have some fun!

You know, when I take you out on dates, I don't know whether our new adventures will turn into incredibly exciting experiences or just wonderfully fun times, but it sure is going to feel good to go out and laugh a lot, isn't it?

And of course, before you get that far, there is that excitement you get when you're with someone new who you think you could fall in love with. That warm "can't get 'em out of your head, smiling until your cheeks hurt" kinda feeling; that blissful agony of having to wait until the next time you see 'em... mushy stuff, I know, but honestly, I think that's a good feeling to never grow out of. I probably will never grow out of that.

Maybe we owe it to ourselves to hang out and talk.... I'm curious to find out about the person wrapped inside all the pretty. Will you allow that to happen?

Thank you for your time. I apologize it's so long. I'd appreciate an answer either way just so I know I've connected with you. Now here's an interesting question: what would love do now?


Lindsay Meisel said...

i have two friends who got this exact same email -- pretty much word for word, with a few different fill-in-the-blanks! crazy.

cotleen said...

I still can't decide if it was a weird joke, or the most pathetic, narcissistic cut and paste attempt at scoring some ass in the history of web dating. Kudos to you, mystery man; that's quite a feat!

brooke said...

I usually have much to say. But this has left me speechless...

Cerulean Bill said...

"Weirdo magnet". Hmmm.... Be an interesting business card, don't you think? (g)

Terran said...

I also tried OKCupid recently since I moved country but didn't really get anywhere with it. I guess it's probably a different experience for a girl than a guy.

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