But that recipe isn't the only chicken in this situation; I have not exactly been honest with you.
You see, I foolishly led you (and myself) to believe that I could seamlessly maneuver my way from girlfriend to friendgirl. And you and I get along so well and we have a lot of fun together, so why wouldn't we be friends? But I neglected to consider that this whole thing might take me some time to fully get over--to completely cease feeling nauseous each time you talk about another girl. I failed to realize that I might actually have needed a break from you--from us--before I belly-flopped into the murky waters of the platonic diving pool with you. I may no longer want to share your bed, but that doesn't mean I want to hear about all the ladies who do,
Just so we're clear, I do like the idea of us being friends--I even like being friends with you most of the time. I just think that, for the time being, you should probably find another friend with whom to dissect your latest dates, hook-ups and heartbreaks. Maybe even a therapist.
Alternately, you may discuss them with me in 6 months or once I start dating someone else--whichever comes soonest.