Who knows one? I know one. One is my house, which is now also an office, gym, and school.
Who know two? I know two. Two are my hands, which I now wash constantly for at least twenty seconds.
Who knows three? I know three. Three is the number of days COVID-19 remains on metal and plastic, and also the number of husbands Joe Exotic had in Tiger King.
Who knows four? I know four. Four AM existential grief and panic attacks.
Who knows five? I know five. Five days to ripe sourdough starter!
Who knows six? I know six. Six feet of distance between yourself and others.
Who knows seven? I know seven. Seven days in a week...I think? Maybe? What is time?
Who knows eight? I know eight. Eight people maximum in a Zoom call before everything starts going to shit.
Who knows nine? I know nine. Nine is the total number of toilet paper rolls left in the entire state of California.
Who knows ten? I know ten. "Ten out of ten" is the score Trump gave himself for his shameful mishandling this pandemic.
Who knows eleven? I know eleven. Eleven A.M. cocktails are a thing now.
Who knows twelve? I know twelve. Twelve months minimum until we have a vaccine.
Who knows thirteen? I know thirteen. Thirteen professional awards bestowed upon the great Dr. Anthony Fauci.